Illusion

Hope is a sylph,

spreads its wings,

flees through the gaps,

'tween my fingers.

Hope is a nymph,

makes mischief, 

keeps me,

on a leash, 

drags me down..

Hope is a shape-shifter,

stays not the same.

you want one,

Hope gives you another.

Hope the carrot,

me the mule!

Hope, the immortal,

Hope, elusive! illusive!

Existence

came from nothing,

return to nothing.

dream many,

achieve nothing.

learn alot,

know nothing.

take everything,

give nothing.

eat anything,

keep nothing.

work hard, earn,

enjoy nothing.

get everything,

 value nothing.

make many,

maintain nothing.

bring nothing,

take away nothing.

attached to nothing BUT entangled with everything!

So why kick a fuss,

over this mega

nothingness???

Tattered Soul

I laid my Cloths of Heaven,

under your feet,

pleaded,

tread it carefully,

it's my one and only,

you Tramped on it, wore it out, 

soiled it with grime and crime,

your semen of conceit.

my cloth,

torn and tattered,

in shards,

unmendable

Deceit

Pire!

burn, scorch, scald, singe

guile, burn! ruse, scorch! lies, scald!

Charlatan, sear!

burn! burn! to soot, to ashes

Gale of rage

blow away, scatter!

laurels of thorns

not to be collected

EVER!

MIA

Am MIA for now...busy like crazy...that rhymes..so yes..am busy like crazy...ploughing through 'greedicity', 'illegitimate father and mother'... miss my ramblings..all in good time..will be back soon..

Goodbye???

Something happened recently.  

Shocked the living daylight out of me.

i may not get to enjoy the daylight much longer. 

If what i have is what i did not think it was. 

The first thing that came to my mind after the news was delivered to me was, have i got enough saved for my two children??? 

Will it be enough to support them through college???  

Will it be enough for them to live comfortably until they graduate and can stand on their own two feet??? 

Most of all, have i given them enough of me and my time???

The answer to all the above, NO. 

So, that would be the reason for not wanting to leave early.  

As for leaving itself, am not afraid. 

Regret to leave early? Yes, because of children. 

Regret about leaving everything and everyone else behind? No. 

Grateful to anyone? Yes.

Gonna party? NO

I shall remain the same.

Race-The Sequel

Race is a long story, thus the need for a sequel.

 When one is not in the race, one is full of love, laughter and cheer for one's ownself and others. But the moment one decides to be in a race, all these lovely feelings disappear. One is constantly sharpening one's fangs and claws, exercising the invisible talons to strengthen them, scrutinising those around, sizing them up, busy devising and plotting in one's mind on how to beat the strongest opponent in the race in the easiest and effortless way;  
invite the opponent for tea every morning and mix a wee drop of cyanide- kill her slowly but surely or  mix a laddleful of liquified rat poison in her roti canai gravy ( rat poison comes in chunks that can be mistaken for cheese), feed her tosei and dhal curry every morning til she becomes sick of tosei and decides to kill herself...

She'll kill herself or decide to end her life in whichever way, if she's in the race...

HOWEVER,

it will be so unfortunate to discover too late that she who was driven to suicide or poisoned to death has never been in the race....just like me...

 I am not  in the race but am slowly being killed off..aaaaaahhhhh!!!gag!!! help me!!!!oh!!! urgh!!!gurggle!!!gurggle!!!dieeeeeeeeee....