Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Race-The Sequel

Race is a long story, thus the need for a sequel.
 When one is not in the race, one is full of love, laughter and cheer for one's ownself and others. But the moment one decides to be in a race, all these lovely feelings disappear. One is constantly sharpening one's fangs and claws, exercising the invisible talons to strengthen them, scrutinising those around, sizing them up, busy devising and plotting in one's mind on how to beat the strongest opponent in the race in the easiest and effortless way;  
invite the opponent for tea every morning and mix a wee drop of cyanide- kill her slowly but surely or  mix a laddleful of liquified rat poison in her roti canai gravy ( rat poison comes in chunks that can be mistaken for cheese), feed her tosei and dhal curry every morning til she becomes sick of tosei and decides to kill herself...

She'll kill herself or decide to end her life in whichever way, if she's in the race...


it will be so unfortunate to discover too late that she who was driven to suicide or poisoned to death has never been in the race....just like me...

 I am not  in the race but am slowly being killed off..aaaaaahhhhh!!!gag!!! help me!!!!oh!!! urgh!!!gurggle!!!gurggle!!!dieeeeeeeeee....

Friday, February 11, 2011


Life is a journey, a journey from point A to B.
It could be straight forward, linear for some while loopy and full of crossroads, pit-stops, detours for others. Some others perceive it as a race.
Now, the idea of life being a race is tricky.
When one perceives it as a race, there must be other competititors too and the destination has to be one and the same- one cannot be in a race with others and each one heading in a different direction.
So, for the racers, good that you are in a race. It makes you energetic, gets your adrenaline pumping, you are perpetually excited...WOW! action packed life!
The race could be towards achieving different things in different aspects of life- work (promotional positions), social life (woeing and courting the best looking gal or guy), material comfort (owning the state-of-the-art- limited -edition-only 1 unit available- in -the- whole world- mobile phone)...the list goes on.
What's tricky is the fact that there can be only one winner so, the race is nasty; many racers vying for one grand prize and the slower of the racers are killed off or maimed for life. Some racers fall out of the race voluntarily along the way while other weak but adamant ones are elbowed out. The victorious one is always the one who is the fittest (physically and/or mentally). Sounds like a nasty race, doesn't it? But that's the race that we see run by many around us.
Notably, not everyone is in the race.
Some of us choose to treat life as a stroll, we do it slowly, at a manageable pace, we stop quite regularly to ponder if we should join the race or should we just remain cool and relaxed and most often we decide with contentment that there is no need to join the race. We are not in any way less efficient or less productive than the racers. In fact most often we are more efficient and productive as we fulfil our responsibilities, be it at work or elsewhere with  serious planning and cautious execution of duties. MOST importantly, we are HAPPY!

Friday, February 4, 2011


One complains that one is not loved, appreciated, cared for, valued...One constantly complains that one is not made the centre of others' lives. One expresses disappointment that one is not treated as importantly as one should be treated, One isn't significant...

It makes me wonder.  How does one expect to be loved, cared for, appreciated, valued, made the centre of others' lives, treated importantly and significantly when one does not in any way display all these emotions towards one's own self.  Strange, how we look elsewhere for love, appreciation, recognition and acceptance when we do nothing to show that we love ourselves. We constantly place ourselves at other people's scrutiny, criticism, annoyance, disgust, anger when we could pretty well keep ourselves away from all these.

  We are reckless in our behaviour, we do not know how to give respect but are annoyed that others do not respect us.  We are never punctual but are annoyed when others are late. We undermine others' credibility but are irritated and angered when we are belittled.
the list goes on.....
We expect others to accommodate our character flaws but display no tolerance for that of others. 
We constantly feed out minds with unhealthy thoughts; greed, envy, hatred and feed our bodies with cigarette smoke, drugs, alcoholic beverages, unhealthy food (which i am guilty of) and we complain that we are not loved!

The way to love ourselves is just one; just stop, ponder for second before deciding to act- anger? Am i going to utter a nasty word or remain silent and choose to speak up much later when i am calmer, or...If i am hungry, do i stuff my face with anything available at the moment or am i going to be selective of what i eat? Why don't i leave early so that i reach on time or quit smoking, stop and smell the flowers whenever i can. 

The question i want myself?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Birthday ; not mine but my blog.  Have been wanting to start for a very long  time but never got the time to sit and write something, anything. 

Thanks to the long weekend, decided to steal some time to do it. 

I am wondering if bad experiences give birth to meaningful ramblings or is it due to absolute bliss

What about something in-between; frustration mingled with the awareness that not everything is hopeless?

 Remembered some people this morning; those that i have no feelings for; those who have hurt my children;  Those who found joy in the sufferings and helplessness of others - the same people who act as god-fearing, religious, generous and kind...i have met too many like these; too many that i think the world is made up of them mostly, and some unfortunate ones like ME.

Do i sound unhappy??
 No am not. Life with people like these around is so colourful, challenging and most of all amusing.  Amusing because i have acquired the ability to see through and identify them.   Sometimes it's fun playing along with them and allowing them the thrill of believing that they are in control, i allow them to step on my toes and I have the last laugh.   
The key phrase is 'allow them to...'

No one can hurt me unless I allow them to.  It's pointless blaming them when it has all been said and done.  Why didnt I think of the possibilites of being hurt before it happens?  Is anyone or everyone obliged to preserve my feelings?  Why should anyone and everyone preserve my feelings? 
 The answers to these questions enable me to mingle and make friends without having
 expectations, expectations that someone would give me a hand in times of trouble, someone would be concerned enough to choose subtle words so as to not hurt my feelings...